Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +30

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and invisible? This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down -12

go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops