Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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240

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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GONNA

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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