Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Those last 4 were by: Walter

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats two plus two? Miles

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops