Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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A seal walks into a club...

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops