speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

thumb_up thumb_down +99

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops