Boom.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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I've got a boner

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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GIVE

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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poop.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Dylan Eichas

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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