How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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make me a sandwich!

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Women's Rights

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women's rights

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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