Yo Momma is not fat.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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cliché rebecca black joke.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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