A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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