An Englishman walks into a bar.

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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Diarrhea

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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