retard

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Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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