I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

How long is a china man?

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

7+5=12

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

A seal walks into a club.

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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