Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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I drive a 'rarri

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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