why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops