I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the black man fall off of the cliff? A: He was the victim of a hate crime and his body had to be dumped somewhere

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whant to hear my best inpression of a hijacking ok kjgnkdgsjikdfhjnknkdfngknhfkfbnkf

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I didn't know that guy did crossfit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What can make you pee? Liquid

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops