Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What?

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Sonic

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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I've got a boner

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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