Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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GIVE

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What?

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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this site is funny.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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