Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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