A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Invisible Television.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -26

yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops