your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

thumb_up thumb_down -27

theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops