roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? The one from the farm across the street. Can Randy come play outside?

How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...