There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the boy fall off of his bike? He was hit by falling koalas.

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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