My Boyfriend

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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Q-whats green and has eyes. A-A frog are you stupid

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one, its a fairly easy task

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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what do gay people eat?? food

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KONY 2012

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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