Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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Thats what she said

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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