Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Dislike this.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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