Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, because he is an orphan.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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