why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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Why are white people afraid of black people? The holocaust

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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