What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

Womens rights

Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

FUS RO DAH!!!

What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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