a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

A married man takes the ring off his finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops