What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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whats forever alone me

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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