Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Charles Manson is innocent.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

this is stupid .... yep

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops