What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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new year new me my nigga's chilling on the couch . he'l be happy if i put my dlck inside his mouth next one: i got 4 but i give it to mr. gore when he say whats your name? me:hey my mane is Erick bryan and my puss* is wet wait nonono :D

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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