Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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3 like an eel

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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Snooki

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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