What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Jayden Eccles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops