How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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