What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Penis.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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