A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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david weres the slug gone

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Jokes Ki Duniya

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Illumati Confirmed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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