How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Female Orgasms

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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