Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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