What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What s the difference between a pigeon ?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

weston cage

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Penis-biter

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops