What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops