What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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