I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Choir.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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