Two planes walk into an office building

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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why did the man buy kool aid? because it was on sale and he was thirsty

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops