What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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