What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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