Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Womens rights

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Women's rights.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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