how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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2 + 2 = fish

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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