A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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whats one plus one penis

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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