My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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a mexican and a black guy are sitting in a car, who's driving? the police

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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A Fat Kenyan

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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david poredos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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