Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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Good afternoon.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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I have a dig bick you that read wrong you read that wrong too.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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This is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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